Insert "Jaws" Theme here

Well, I finally have time to write, and of course, I'm too sleepy to say anything profound. I, like most people in the area, have the sniffles from the ever-changing weather. Last week it was 85 F on Thursday, and by Saturday we had a high of 49. I know that eventually it will all even out, but as someone who loves summer, I'm being a bit of a baby, as are my sinuses.

The big news around here is that I am going to have surgery on my jaw at the end of May or beginning of June. We can't schedule an official day until we have the insurance company's permission letter in our hand, but the doctor is pretty confident they will approve it. I plan on using this blog as, well, a blog on the whole experience. I suppose if I have to go through it, we might as well document the whole adventure.

I've always had TMJ issues, but really never had it treated. I had more orthodontic work done than I can name (and I am not exaggerating, I actually can't remember the names of some of the devices) and although it gave me a nice smile, it probably did the initial weakening of the jaw. It started clicking while I was in high school, but it didn't hurt. I actually enjoyed going up behind people and popping my jaw really loud in their ear, because I am THAT AWESOME.

It went away for a while, then last year, I went to the dentist and had a filling. The dentist was understaffed, and although I explained that it usually hurts my jaw to keep it open too long, it was kept open for an extreme amount of time. The dentist and his assistant kept leaving the room to check on other patients, so by the time the Novacaine started to wear off, we were just finishing. (Good timing on the Novacaine, or things would have gotten quite messy.)

After that, my jaw would hurt, and occasionally, it would get stuck open, which believe me, is excruciating pain. It's like someone takes a tiny whip and smacks you right across the jaw bone - very sudden, shocking pain. But, once I got it unstuck, it would be sore for a day or so, and then go back to being only sore on occasion.

Then, one day in September, Kurt and I were driving somewhere, and my jaw got stuck open, and it hurt so badly that I think I yelled. Now, I'm one of those people who HATE to show that they're in pain. Kurt thinks I have a martyr complex or something. So, the fact that I actually made a "pain-related noise" scared the hell out of him. Then, I couldn't get it to close again immediately, and when it did, it didn't feel "quite right." I know that's a cliche way to describe it, but I can't explain it any other way.

Now, here's the part where you will want to reach through the monitor and slap me silly. One character flaw I have is, obviously, refusing to show pain. The second is a stubbornness to treat myself when things go wrong. (Ask me sometime about my torn knee and consequent surgery) This time, after it locked open, it didn't get better. In fact, it kept getting worse and worse. I started rubbing the muscles, and eating softer foods, and doing heat treatments every day. I kept thinking, "Oh, it will get better, just give it time." (I am now waiting for your slap, readers. Just try to steer clear of the jaw when you do.)

Finally, in March (yes, I know, 7 months after I hurt it, SHUSH) I went to an oral surgeon. He said there were some muscle issues that would need physical therapy, but what worried him is that my jaw used to click and pop, and now, it did nothing. He scheduled an MRI for me, which I had a few weeks later. The one cool part about the whole appointment was that he took a little ruler and started measuring my jaw in all sorts of ways...open, closed, to the side, moving back and forth, biting something, etc. I found it interesting. Also, he looks like Jeff Bridges. "Big Lebowski" Jeff Bridges, not "K-Pax" Jeff Bridges.


The MRI was quite an experience, because even though I told them I wasn't claustrophobic, I actually do have a bit of claustrophobia. But, see character flaw#1 (doesn't like to show pain or discomfort) and you can see how that went. But, I made it through, even though I had to bite on a piece of styrofoam so they could take an MRI shot with my mouth open. That was about 6 minutes of contstant pain, and I do believe that had it gone longer I would have actually bitten through the styrofoam. However, I spent the whole time thinking, "What would they do if I DID bite through it, and then I swallowed it?", so that kept me occupied.

Once I went back to the doctor, he informed me that 95% of the time TMJ patients never have to go through surgery, but I was one of the lucky five percent. Turns out my meniscuses on both sides are out of place. He then went through all the possible effects of surgery (sounding like like the end of a drug commercial), and then explained the procedures to me, as I shall do for you:

1) Procedure #1: A simple arthroscopy, where they will make a small incision in front of each of my ears, and then go in and erode away the scar tissue that has built up, causing my meniscus to be displaced. Then, with physical therapy, the meniscus will naturally fall back to where it needs to be. This is the optimum surgery, as I will only be out of work for a week or so.

2) Procedure #2: This is where it gets tricky: if they go in and the meniscus is torn, they will have to make a bigger incision behind my ears and go in and repair the tissue. This recovery time takes up to a month.

3) Procedure# 3: (Yes, there is one more!) If they go in, and the meniscus has a hole in it, then they must do a skin graft onto the meniscus in order to repair it. This will also move recovery up to a month.

So, there you have it. Having had surgery before, I am not scared, at at this point, I will do anything for relief. I talk with my teeth touching now, and when I do open my mouth, I can only open it enough to fit one fingertip in. If I strain really hard, I can fit two fingertips in, but it is very uncomfortable. I am in constant pain, and I also have earaches, since the whole area is connected. Also, I can barely eat anything without pain. I had to list what I couldn't eat for the nurse to send to the insurance company, but I wasn't allowed to say "everything." Needless to say, it sounded like I was reading off a grocery list, and it made me very hungry. The worst trait of a food that I cannot eat is not the hardness or chewiness, although that is up there. If it's too big, or oddly shaped, to fit between the small space that is now my bite, I can't chew it. So, even bananas give my trouble, because I can't just bite into it because it's too round in diameter. (Yes, this sounds like it's going to be a good dirty story, but seriously)

Well, that's enough babbling for one night. I'll do more updates later.

Oh, also......this is the song I am going to play on my way to surgery. It's from one of my favorite movies. Just excuse the rated-R content and, well, Paris Hilton.

Zydrate Anatomy